Hey guys long time no see right? The last update must have been quite a shock to you I guess haha XD
Anyway, today I want to write something that I want to really write about for a while but I never got to well except for today :)
Most people might not know this, but I'm a Christian. So yes, today I want to write how Jesus touched my life in ways that I stand in awe for his love and mercy for me and my mum.
The first time when I felt God's love and mercy was during the revival year of 2006 in Shillong. That day I wanted to go to Church so badly, it was like my soul was pushing me to go there no matter what happens, the need, the want and the urgency was too much I knew I had to be there!
When I reached there, the prayer meeting started and I was praying, I didn't know much about the value of praying that time but I knew I had to pray, I had to talk to God. The moment I laid down my head to pray, the words, the thoughts, the realization of how my life was so small and insignificant came to me, my entire being shook and I knew I was not alone,
I knew I was in the presence of someone who loves me yet who was greater than anyone. I knew I was in the presence of Jesus and when I realized that I cried.
The realization of how my life is, the thoughts of how I being a sinner was not fit to see this love, this mercy, this grace from Jesus, the thoughts of how his never ending compassion has been blessing me in my life without me seeing it, the feelings of how I was so blind I didn't see his blessings in my life, were going on my mind and with that the tears started flowing.
It was from there, my life changed. I realized so many things on that day and even now I still cry at the thought of how God's love is, how deep and everlasting his compassion and his mercy is. Like the song 'I surrender' by Hillsong, Lord Jesus created a storm within my soul, a storm I never wish to die out but rather to keep on raging stronger than ever with every passing moment.
My life, let me tell you honestly, I have gone through so much things that if I was a person who didn't know God I would have fallen a long time ago. Yes, there were times I felt was alone and I had my period of negativity but it was through those times I found that I needed to be closer to God; it was through those times my relationship with Jesus grew.
A few months ago, I was really sick and I was scared. I went to the doctor as well and she was telling me that the medicine she's giving it might work or might now and that's when I knew I needed to be healed by Jesus and that was when my faith was tested and I knew it. It was test on how much I withstand, how much I could stand on my feet and say it will be Jesus who will heal me. It was a test on how much trust I have on God no matter what happens and for two weeks I prayed. I prayed to the point that whenever I bow down and prayed my faith was renewed, my strength was renewed. And after the two weeks passed, Jesus answered my prayers and I was healed. I was miraculously healed. After that tribulation, I realized that I was saved and healed by the blood of Jesus. Jesus showed me another side of his love and mercy that I thought I would never see.
Where I am now in life, is because of Jesus. It is because of his love, his blessings, his mercy, his never ending grace, I am who I am now. He blessed me and still is blessing me each every moment of this precious life he gave. The things I never thought I will be able to enjoy or share with someone I love but with Jesus everything was and is made possible.
May God's love, mercy and blessings be poured into each of you.
-Praise be to Lord Jesus.
Amen :)
Monday, June 2, 2014
Monday, May 12, 2014
And this I write.....
Hey guys, finally back in updating again and got to say first thing first, I've finally cleared first half of my final year can I hear a woot woot hahaha :D
But the sad thing is that it obviously means that I'm almost done with law and it means saying goodbye to the asses who I call friends from the University. But today I don't want to talk about the melancholy feeling that I have because of another chapter in life ending, but today I want to talk about love or in other words this update is more like a love story written to that one special person whose in my life right now (though I doubt he reads my blog) haha XD
Well, yeah I remembered I told you about this in my earlier update that I fell in love and honestly, I've never openly told people about this but I've remained single for these past two to three years that I actually came to the conclusion that I'll never actually find someone (Don't blame me kids it was normal to have such thoughts okay haha XD). Anyway so yeah, that was how I passed through life as a single girl and though there were times guys would come and talk, I rejected every guy. The reason; honestly I wasn't interested, not even a single bit, I think I got fed up with their sugary talks and well their chessy pick up lines that I think they have used for almost every girl they've met.
BUT, that all changed on 24th November 2013, damn I remember the day like it was yesterday haha XD. It all started with the invitation from mum's best friend for a bonfire in the cold November month since she was back from Italy she wanted to meet up and well she just wanted to catch up with mum as well, I on the other hand was bored at home I decided to tag along (which I must add I do not regret it one bit) with mum and that's when the real story starts.
Like I said I tagged along with mum for the Bonfire get together but what I didn't know was the fact that it wasn't only mum and me who were going to be there but there were three other people who I didn't know and got to say when we (mum and me) arrived at my aunt's place I was kinda surprised I guess haha XD Surprised because I thought the get together was only with three of us but then lo and behold three unknown people were there sitting and were talking to my aunt as if they were best friends in the world. On seeing me and mum, my aunt immediately called us over and introduced us to each other and got to say that was one funny introduction I ever had in my life; out of the three people who were introduced, one stuck out. Reason; he didn't even bother to shake hands when we were introducing each other! Let alone shaking hands he didn't bother to look me in the eyes and tell his name. Honestly, I thought this guy is seriously weird let alone he doesn't shake hands on being introduced to each other, he doesn't even bother to talk and socialize! My thoughts at that time were like screaming out loud to me in my head HOT GUY ALERT but too bad he doesn't want to socialise!!!
After the introductions were done, we all sat around the bon fire and were having a few drinks and were trying to converse with each other and while we were talking I clearly remember that the so called HOT GUY was sitting across me in the corner, not talking much. Me on the other hand, I was busy texting my best friend and telling her I met a hot guy but too bad he might having a girlfriend because at that time I saw him turning away and was comfortably talking and laughing to the person who called him and that's when I realised no point in flirting with him after all he has someone already I shouldn't be a mean bitch haha XD (Yes, people I have my priorities straight)
After his talk on the call, I immediately changed my motive and tried not to converse with him much but rather try to talk to the other two friends of his because honestly though I wanted him but I can't him so I thought the next best thing would be if I try being friends with his friends instead (at least something is better nothing right??) haha XD But, I don't know, even though I wanted to change my motive I couldn't, I was curious about this guy who sat across me and I wanted to know him more. The turning point of how I knew this HOT GUY was single was when I decided to go in search of the restroom and I do not know what reason made him stand up to accompany me, maybe he thought I was too drunk to not know where the restroom was (to this date I blame the alcohol haha XD) and that's when I realised he just wanted to talk to me personally but me being the reclusive me at that time I ran like the wind away from him hahah XD
After the running away incident, I immediately ran back to the place where the bonfire was held and made sure to stay put no matter what happens and started talking like crazy and I mean crazy to everyone there just to forget what happened. But, I must tell you that life can be fucked up though, after a few drinks and after one or two hours passed by, everyone there including me were a little more than tipsy and to this date again I do not know were in the hell did everyone vanished to, leaving me and the HOT GUY sitting together near the bon fire.
Since it was only me and the HOT GUY we eventually started talking (trust me I tried all possible ways to not talk to him but my stupid mouth and heart did not listen to my brain) and the topic of discussion was the tattoos we had in each others arms haha XD Seriously, we must have been so stupid I guess but like I said blame it on the alcohol hehe XD And so, that's how we started talking and getting to know each other but suddenly I had to leave without saying my goodbyes to him (yeah, like Cinderella who ran away because of the time haha XD) and left my aunt's place.
But what utterly shocked me and made me think this guy (HOT GUY) was someone different probably was the fact that after I left, within 10 mins he somehow got my number from my aunt's cell phone and called me up and that I must say kids it was probably the first time after a long time I talked to a guy for more than 1 hour, though our conversation wasn't based on anything romantic but I knew that the walls I build for so long were slowly breaking down. It was then I realised that this person, this unbelievable soul, is someone different. Someone utterly rare and unique, someone who would bring some peace to my chaotic life, someone who would heal my destructive nature.
From the day I met him to this present moment, though we have our ups and downs, our moments of letting go and firmly holding on, our good and bad days, I know that somehow there's a reason why he's in my life and why I am in his. I have my fears, my doubts and my insecurities, hell I have a lot of insecurities and I know he does as well, and each time a fear creeps up on me I think about the things he did, the things he said and the feelings he makes me feel every time I need someone and that's when I realize its worth it. No matter what it's worth it.
And this I write, I may not know what happens in the future but I'm glad I got to feel this feeling. This feeling of euphoria; this feeling that can be both heaven as well as hell. This feeling that maybe, maybe I have a chance to be someone better than who I really am.
But the sad thing is that it obviously means that I'm almost done with law and it means saying goodbye to the asses who I call friends from the University. But today I don't want to talk about the melancholy feeling that I have because of another chapter in life ending, but today I want to talk about love or in other words this update is more like a love story written to that one special person whose in my life right now (though I doubt he reads my blog) haha XD
Well, yeah I remembered I told you about this in my earlier update that I fell in love and honestly, I've never openly told people about this but I've remained single for these past two to three years that I actually came to the conclusion that I'll never actually find someone (Don't blame me kids it was normal to have such thoughts okay haha XD). Anyway so yeah, that was how I passed through life as a single girl and though there were times guys would come and talk, I rejected every guy. The reason; honestly I wasn't interested, not even a single bit, I think I got fed up with their sugary talks and well their chessy pick up lines that I think they have used for almost every girl they've met.
BUT, that all changed on 24th November 2013, damn I remember the day like it was yesterday haha XD. It all started with the invitation from mum's best friend for a bonfire in the cold November month since she was back from Italy she wanted to meet up and well she just wanted to catch up with mum as well, I on the other hand was bored at home I decided to tag along (which I must add I do not regret it one bit) with mum and that's when the real story starts.
Like I said I tagged along with mum for the Bonfire get together but what I didn't know was the fact that it wasn't only mum and me who were going to be there but there were three other people who I didn't know and got to say when we (mum and me) arrived at my aunt's place I was kinda surprised I guess haha XD Surprised because I thought the get together was only with three of us but then lo and behold three unknown people were there sitting and were talking to my aunt as if they were best friends in the world. On seeing me and mum, my aunt immediately called us over and introduced us to each other and got to say that was one funny introduction I ever had in my life; out of the three people who were introduced, one stuck out. Reason; he didn't even bother to shake hands when we were introducing each other! Let alone shaking hands he didn't bother to look me in the eyes and tell his name. Honestly, I thought this guy is seriously weird let alone he doesn't shake hands on being introduced to each other, he doesn't even bother to talk and socialize! My thoughts at that time were like screaming out loud to me in my head HOT GUY ALERT but too bad he doesn't want to socialise!!!
After the introductions were done, we all sat around the bon fire and were having a few drinks and were trying to converse with each other and while we were talking I clearly remember that the so called HOT GUY was sitting across me in the corner, not talking much. Me on the other hand, I was busy texting my best friend and telling her I met a hot guy but too bad he might having a girlfriend because at that time I saw him turning away and was comfortably talking and laughing to the person who called him and that's when I realised no point in flirting with him after all he has someone already I shouldn't be a mean bitch haha XD (Yes, people I have my priorities straight)
After his talk on the call, I immediately changed my motive and tried not to converse with him much but rather try to talk to the other two friends of his because honestly though I wanted him but I can't him so I thought the next best thing would be if I try being friends with his friends instead (at least something is better nothing right??) haha XD But, I don't know, even though I wanted to change my motive I couldn't, I was curious about this guy who sat across me and I wanted to know him more. The turning point of how I knew this HOT GUY was single was when I decided to go in search of the restroom and I do not know what reason made him stand up to accompany me, maybe he thought I was too drunk to not know where the restroom was (to this date I blame the alcohol haha XD) and that's when I realised he just wanted to talk to me personally but me being the reclusive me at that time I ran like the wind away from him hahah XD
After the running away incident, I immediately ran back to the place where the bonfire was held and made sure to stay put no matter what happens and started talking like crazy and I mean crazy to everyone there just to forget what happened. But, I must tell you that life can be fucked up though, after a few drinks and after one or two hours passed by, everyone there including me were a little more than tipsy and to this date again I do not know were in the hell did everyone vanished to, leaving me and the HOT GUY sitting together near the bon fire.
Since it was only me and the HOT GUY we eventually started talking (trust me I tried all possible ways to not talk to him but my stupid mouth and heart did not listen to my brain) and the topic of discussion was the tattoos we had in each others arms haha XD Seriously, we must have been so stupid I guess but like I said blame it on the alcohol hehe XD And so, that's how we started talking and getting to know each other but suddenly I had to leave without saying my goodbyes to him (yeah, like Cinderella who ran away because of the time haha XD) and left my aunt's place.
But what utterly shocked me and made me think this guy (HOT GUY) was someone different probably was the fact that after I left, within 10 mins he somehow got my number from my aunt's cell phone and called me up and that I must say kids it was probably the first time after a long time I talked to a guy for more than 1 hour, though our conversation wasn't based on anything romantic but I knew that the walls I build for so long were slowly breaking down. It was then I realised that this person, this unbelievable soul, is someone different. Someone utterly rare and unique, someone who would bring some peace to my chaotic life, someone who would heal my destructive nature.
From the day I met him to this present moment, though we have our ups and downs, our moments of letting go and firmly holding on, our good and bad days, I know that somehow there's a reason why he's in my life and why I am in his. I have my fears, my doubts and my insecurities, hell I have a lot of insecurities and I know he does as well, and each time a fear creeps up on me I think about the things he did, the things he said and the feelings he makes me feel every time I need someone and that's when I realize its worth it. No matter what it's worth it.
And this I write, I may not know what happens in the future but I'm glad I got to feel this feeling. This feeling of euphoria; this feeling that can be both heaven as well as hell. This feeling that maybe, maybe I have a chance to be someone better than who I really am.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Update!!
Hey people!! How is everyone?? Long time no see right?? I guess its almost 5-6 months since I last updated.
Anyway, first thing's first HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone though its kind of late for that haha XD
How is everyone holding up? After all four months is almost done with the year, I hope that each one of us are okay where ever we are.
Anyway, I just updated because honestly I feel it's been like ages since I came here and also I kind of miss it (well coming here and writing all nonsense :P)
Right now I don't know what I should write (I guess I became a little rusty haha XD) Let's see..ummmm oh yeah I've finally reached my last semester people!! WOOHOO!! haha XD But the downside of this is the fact I don't know shit of what I'll be doing in my life, either pursue LLM or just start practising as an Advocate which I must say it can be pretty hectic at times. So confused I tell you, so confused!
Oh yes! Another news update is that I'm finally going to shift to a new house probably in May or June so I'm really ecstatic about it haha XD
Anyway, nothing much to update except these two and yeah I've finally fell in love and trust me it's seriously what most people say, yeap, that's right both heaven and hell and I must say it can be irritating at times for me :|
Anyway, that's another update that should be updated later haha XD
-XoXo
Anyway, first thing's first HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone though its kind of late for that haha XD
How is everyone holding up? After all four months is almost done with the year, I hope that each one of us are okay where ever we are.
Anyway, I just updated because honestly I feel it's been like ages since I came here and also I kind of miss it (well coming here and writing all nonsense :P)
Right now I don't know what I should write (I guess I became a little rusty haha XD) Let's see..ummmm oh yeah I've finally reached my last semester people!! WOOHOO!! haha XD But the downside of this is the fact I don't know shit of what I'll be doing in my life, either pursue LLM or just start practising as an Advocate which I must say it can be pretty hectic at times. So confused I tell you, so confused!
Oh yes! Another news update is that I'm finally going to shift to a new house probably in May or June so I'm really ecstatic about it haha XD
Anyway, nothing much to update except these two and yeah I've finally fell in love and trust me it's seriously what most people say, yeap, that's right both heaven and hell and I must say it can be irritating at times for me :|
Anyway, that's another update that should be updated later haha XD
-XoXo
Monday, November 11, 2013
Untitled
All these things I do are but a facade I try to built,
Hoping and praying no one sees the cracks I have in me,
Can't anybody hear the voice that's screaming softly?
They say the eyes are doors to the soul yet why can't anyone see mine?
Darkness is all but I see around me,
My heart; slowly being frozen in time.
I'm sorry my love but I have to let you go,
I tried so hard to make you understand me,
To make you see my unseen tears of desperation and my unspoken soft cries for help,
Each time my soul tries to reach you, you always turn away,
Never trying to understand this cold and helpless soul of mine.
I guess in the end it's not your fault but mine,
I held on too long never realising that my old soul was slowly fading away with time.
Hoping and praying no one sees the cracks I have in me,
Can't anybody hear the voice that's screaming softly?
They say the eyes are doors to the soul yet why can't anyone see mine?
Darkness is all but I see around me,
My heart; slowly being frozen in time.
I'm sorry my love but I have to let you go,
I tried so hard to make you understand me,
To make you see my unseen tears of desperation and my unspoken soft cries for help,
Each time my soul tries to reach you, you always turn away,
Never trying to understand this cold and helpless soul of mine.
I guess in the end it's not your fault but mine,
I held on too long never realising that my old soul was slowly fading away with time.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
The moments that seem to be oh so precious are but mindless games being played,
Each emotion shown is but nothing but a weakness known.
The sugar coated lies that were being fed are slowly turning sour,
The so- called illusion that was created, is now slowly unravelling itself.
The façade that was build is now slowly cracking, showing it's true form.
Each emotion shown is but nothing but a weakness known.
The sugar coated lies that were being fed are slowly turning sour,
The so- called illusion that was created, is now slowly unravelling itself.
The façade that was build is now slowly cracking, showing it's true form.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Writer's block
Hey guys, long time no see right? haha XD
Sorry about that but got to say I really wish to update my blog but I can't since well like it's written in the title, I got attacked with the writer's block.
Hopefully, I get some idea to write or try to at least get my creative juices back in order ASAP.
Anyway, till then.
~PEACE!
XoXo
Sorry about that but got to say I really wish to update my blog but I can't since well like it's written in the title, I got attacked with the writer's block.
Hopefully, I get some idea to write or try to at least get my creative juices back in order ASAP.
Anyway, till then.
~PEACE!
XoXo
Saturday, August 17, 2013
A summer love
Hey guys, long time no see right? haahhaha XD Sorry for pulling the vanishing act on you guys. Anyway, got to say this Summer was really good for me. You must be probably why right?
Well, firstly the fact that I'm entering my final year of Law which officially means I'm going to be done with Law by Summer 2014. Cool right? hahahha XD Five long years of torture is almost done and I must say I'm really happy about that fact but then again it's kinda sad because it would be the time to throw away your toys and start working and settling down in life. But that's a worry for next year right? Let's be happy with the fact that I'm almost done now hahah XD
Again another second thing I loved this summer was the fact that I was in Thailand for my birthday which was on 24th July and got to say it was a good and memorable birthday (though I wish my mom was there with me). Celebrated my special day with good friends and their family and I must say it was good. Other than celebrating my birthday in Thailand, it was probably the first time I travelled abroad and alone but I was not completely alone I went to Thailand with a friend and also, I already have a few Thai friends so in the end it was no biggie for me.
The reason why I wanted to go on this trip was because it was somehow like a rite of passage for me and got to say I learnt a lot in this trip and one of them is that the world is really big even though we are connected with each other because of the internet it's still a big world. In the end this trip lived up to its purpose and I'm glad for it.
Well, firstly the fact that I'm entering my final year of Law which officially means I'm going to be done with Law by Summer 2014. Cool right? hahahha XD Five long years of torture is almost done and I must say I'm really happy about that fact but then again it's kinda sad because it would be the time to throw away your toys and start working and settling down in life. But that's a worry for next year right? Let's be happy with the fact that I'm almost done now hahah XD
Again another second thing I loved this summer was the fact that I was in Thailand for my birthday which was on 24th July and got to say it was a good and memorable birthday (though I wish my mom was there with me). Celebrated my special day with good friends and their family and I must say it was good. Other than celebrating my birthday in Thailand, it was probably the first time I travelled abroad and alone but I was not completely alone I went to Thailand with a friend and also, I already have a few Thai friends so in the end it was no biggie for me.
The reason why I wanted to go on this trip was because it was somehow like a rite of passage for me and got to say I learnt a lot in this trip and one of them is that the world is really big even though we are connected with each other because of the internet it's still a big world. In the end this trip lived up to its purpose and I'm glad for it.
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